Once upon a time there was an empire with many lands. Each land had its own riches. Some had iron in the mountains, some had timber in the forests, and some had coasts where the sea was full of fishes. But one land lay far away from all the others, and there was more gold in that land than in all the rest of the empire.
Now it happened that the empire had a new Emperor. He called himself Emperor of all the lands. Yet for some strange reason, which no one could explain, he spoke as though The Forgotten Land, where all the gold lay, were not there at all.
The townspeople owners of Prosus were well pleased with the empire as it was. They had not forgotten The Forgotten Land. How could they? Nearly all they lived by came from the gold that was mined there. All the townspeople owners of Prosus cared for was what they called the maximization of NAV per share.
There were also The Courtiers, who surrounded the Emperor, and among them were the board members of Prosus, who had been placed there, in a forgotten age, to watch over the good of the townspeople owners.
Each day the Emperor was brought news of one land and then another, of iron in the mountains, of timber in the forests, and of fishes in the sea. Soon the Emperor grew tired of all these many lands. “If only we were not so many different lands,” said the Emperor. “If only we were something finer and newer. If only we were One Tech Company! Then I should not have to be the ruler of many lands, each with its own ruler. I should be a Tech Company CEO.”
So the Emperor went to the Imperial Tailor and said, “Make me a suit of AI clothes, fit for One Tech Company and its CEO.” The Imperial Tailor began his work at once. When the Emperor returned the next day, the Tailor held up the robe and cried, “Look at this cloth! It is woven from the finest AI yarn.” The Emperor looked upon it with delight, for in its pattern he saw the little disparate lands joined together as One Tech Company. But The Forgotten Land, whose gold had paid for the robe, was not on the robe at all.
The next day the Emperor walked about, greatly pleased with himself and his new AI clothes. “I must make all these many lands into One Tech Company,” he said to himself. “We must make them all work together as one, so that the empire may match the motif woven into the One Tech Company robe. Then the land of fish shall catch its fish with mining shovels, the land of timber shall fell its trees with fishing nets, and the land of iron shall mine its iron with saws.”
He then sent for the Imperial Carpenter and his men, and ordered them to begin work on an LCM, short for a Large Catapult of Mistakedirection. With this Large Catapult of Mistakedirection, the Emperor meant to force the many lands together and make them One Tech Company.
Then he hurried to the Courtiers and showed them his AI clothes and his drawings for the Large Catapult of Mistakedirection. One of The Courtiers came up to the Emperor and began to examine the robe. The Emperor said, “Only an AI expert, such as myself, can see the magnificence of the robe. To everyone else it may look as though it were made out of whole cloth.” The Courtier, still half frozen in the long winter sleep from his duties to the townspeople owners of Prosus, could see nothing. Nothing but whole cloth.
“Could this mean that I am unfit for office?” he wondered. Not wishing to believe that he was too foolish to see the AI cloth, he said, “It is beautiful! The finest AI cloth I have ever seen.” Then the Courtier hurried away to tell the other Courtiers the good news.
The Courtiers were greatly pleased with the plan. For it was much more exciting to centralize the lands, build a Large Catapult of Mistakedirection, and pretend to be One Tech Company than merely to watch over an empire of many disparate lands.
Meanwhile, the townspeople owners of Prosus cared for only one thing, and it was the maximization of NAV per share. Such a measure was fit only for the common, unknowing townspeople. It was far too simple for the Emperor and his Courtiers of Prosus, who had clothed themselves in higher thoughts.
To pay for the construction of the catapult and for the reshaping of the lands to match the robe, the Emperor gave orders that the royal treasury should slow down the NAV per share accreting buybacks, which a former Emperor had once set in motion. The Emperor, being very sophisticated, did not trouble himself with simple fractions.
Before long, word of the Large Catapult of Mistakedirection reached the common townspeople owners of Prosus. Among them there was but one thought about the Emperor’s plan to reshape the lands to match the fantasy woven into his robe, and it was that it would surely waste much of the empire’s riches, which everyone knew came from The Forgotten Land. This seemed especially foolish when there was already a simple way to increase their wealth, namely the low-risk NAV per share accretive share buybacks.
The next day, as the Emperor passed a mirror, he stopped to look at himself in his magnificent AI clothes. But he could see nothing. He became very worried. Did this mean that he was no AI expert? Could this mean that he was unfit to be Emperor of One Tech Company? He looked and turned, hoping to catch a glimpse of the magnificent AI yarn. But still he saw only a robe made out of whole cloth. Not wanting to admit to himself that he was unworthy to be Emperor of One Tech Company, he said, “These are indeed the finest AI clothes in the whole world.”
To further reassure himself, the Emperor invited the sell-side analyst royal jesters to his court. These jesters knew that The Forgotten Land was not to be looked at too closely, so they looked very closely at all the other lands, which together counted for almost nothing next to it.
After answering a few gentle questions from the sell-side royal fools about the little immaterial lands, the Emperor felt in much better spirits. So he decided that the time had come for the great parade, so that the common townspeople might see the LCM and his magnificent robe woven of AI yarn. The robe would show how the lands were soon to lie. He ordered the Imperial Carpenter and his men to bring forth the Large Catapult of Mistakedirection. Then he gave the signal for the parade to begin.
As the band played and the LCM creaked, the Emperor began to walk along the street. All the townspeople owners of Prosus peered at the Emperor, but they could not see the AI yarn of his robe. All they could see was a robe made out of whole cloth. Was the Emperor parading down the street in nothing but whole cloth? Did this mean that they were foolish, and not AI experts enough to understand his grand plan to make the fishermen fish with saws and the timbermen cut trees with nets? And so some of them clapped, though not very comfortably. They reminded themselves that the harvest of gold from The Forgotten Land might yet be greater than all the riches wasted on the Emperor’s fantasy to be a One Tech Company CEO.
In the meantime, the sell-side jesters and the Courtiers cried out, “What a wonderful pattern! What a fabulous design! How fashionable it is!” Nobody was brave enough to tell the Emperor that they could not see the AI clothes, and that the robe seemed to be made out of whole cloth.
Suddenly, a small child owner of Prosus piped up from the crowd. “But he is not wearing any AI clothes at all!” cried the child. His father tried to quiet the child, but a whisper ran through the crowd until everyone cried out: “The Prosus Emperor is not wearing any AI clothes at all!” And they all began to laugh and point.
But The Emperor shivered, for he suspected that they were right. But he thought, “The parade must go on.” So he walked more proudly than ever in his robe of whole cloth, while his faithful board of Courtiers followed behind him, praising the magnificent AI yarn that was not there at all.
… or did they?